Let the three episode tail spin of a trip begin! Tonight was the first of three episodes of The Real Housewives of New York City in Morocco, and it kicked off with the great divide. LuAnn, Jill, Kelly, and Cindy – the brunettes – arrived first, while Ramona, Sonja, and Alex – the blondes – arrived a day later.
I actually feel bad for Alex. She was wedged between two narcissistic loud-mouths.
Ramona’s Requests
When the brunettes land in the fabulous city, they’re like kids in a candy store, or like Suri Cruise in Bergdorf Goodman. They took advantage of tea, tanning, and tennis, while Ramona made a list of ridiculous requests which she emailed to LuAnn. That’s right. Ramona emailed the Countess a list of demands for a trip that she was invited to as a guest. Pathetic. The list apparently included the staff’s help in unpacking her bags, hand weights, 600 thread count sheets, hangers, and of course, Pinot Grigio. As if her list wasn’t inappropriate enough, the first things she notices about the African country was the dirt and poverty.
When Ramona gets out of the car, she thinks spotting LuAnn at the entrance is like a game of Where’s Waldo. She says LuAnn looks like one of the staff members, that she looks so native she blended in. Sure Ramona. LuAnn is wearing a hot-pink maxi-dress in a sea of black and gray adorned staff members, but sure Ramona, if the Pinot tells you she’s camouflaged then she’s camouflaged.
Hang Up or Hang On, to the Drama That is…
What would a trip thousands of miles from home be without a little Nancy Drew detective work? When Cindy comes inside she is appalled by what has apparently happened to her personal space, specifically, her closet. The hangers were gone! Cue dramatic music. And who’s the first person the Completely Bare mogul turns to blame: Ramona.
Confused by Cindy’s behavior, Ramona decides Cindy needs to loosen up and “needs a hanger up her butt.” I don’t think that’s going to help. The phrase “stick up your ass” generally means someone is uptight, so something tells me a hanger isn’t exactly going to fix that problem.
Caftan Corrections
LuAnn has a surprise for the ladies, blondes included, and has Morocco’s most famous clothing designer make custom caftans for all the housewives. Let’s guess who had something to say about that – Ramona. “I need something sexy, I don’t like the caftan look.” I know Ke$ha brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack, but I think Ramona gargles with Pinot because her comments clearly aren’t the result of a person utilizing their noggin.
Unfortunate Misfortunes
The episode concludes with the readings of a Moroccan fortune teller. When it’s Ramona’s turn to find out what’s in the cards and Kelly’s turn to translate, Kelly exits the room after hearing what the teller had to say and claims she didn’t want to rehash the fortune. LuAnn, however, had no problem blurting out “There’s another woman!”
Luckily, however, no matter what happens abroad, Kelly managed to smuggle her Jelly Beans to a different kind of “scary island”!
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